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Gone in Three Months

Continued

house and I could not bear this. Me and my boyfriend Scott tried to get him to have another dog, but he was not ready for that yet. So we both kept in contact daily, weekly visits to each others homes for Dinner - but life was not the same for us, but we were hoping that Sunshine would come again.

On the 30th Aug 2002 sometime in the evening, Dad passed away in his home from a blood clot, which stopped his heart immediately. Me and Scott found him the next day - I was hysterical - why me, why now, it's too soon after Mam, what could I have done to prevent this, I should have come to see him yesterday, I never got the chance to say goodbye, why, why, why - were just some of the words stumbling out of my mouth. Scott was brilliant and just held me, stroked my hair and helped me to come to terms with what had just happened. It was like a very bad dream from which I truely believed I was going to wake up from - but again it wasn't - here I was again arranging the funeral, but for my Dad this time.

He had told me all of his wishes when Mam died and true to my word I kept them - his song 'My Way' by Frank S was played - which sumed him up completely. Again a very moving, fitting service for this special Husband, Dad & Friend. Got through the day again with the help and support from Scott, loving godparents, Scott's family and special friends - however, I was in a daze, numb, shocked and to be honest in autopilot - after all, it was only 3 months ago I had done this all before.

What now for me? - well trying to cope as best as I can. I have been very low recently, can not get that song out of my head 'Nobody's Child', but I am starting to climb the healing ladder - I have acknowledged my grief, tried as best as I can to think, well these things happen for a reason - the reason escapes me though. 4 months ago I had a Mam, Dad & family home all living and real, which have all now gone, but thanks to my memories, not forgotten. But Mam and Dad are together again I hear a voice say in my head and surely this must give me some comfort - I would say some, but not enough. The greatest comfort is that as an only child, my parents taught me to be strong, independant and to cherish life, worthwhile friendships and to love. I am sure this will get me through, also with the help from my godparents, Scott's family and my good friends. My loving boyfriend Scott has been a rock to me and has supported me through the cave days (bad days) I have had so far.

To end, well what can I say - we are all lost for words, nobody knows what to say to me - the truth is what can they say to help to ease the pain - well nothing really, this is something I can only do myself with my own thoughts and words and with time this huge hole in my life will be filled with something, which may come close to the precious gap left by the 2 most special people I have had the pleasure of knowing, Iain & Margaret Campbell, My Mam & Dad, sleep well both of you, you will never be forgotten.